CAR TROUBLE> >

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic> > it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling> > smoothly. She says, "What's the story?"> > He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor" She asks, "How often do I> > have to do that?"> >

SPEEDING TICKET> >

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very> > nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish> > you guys would get your act together. Just> > yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to> > show it to you!"> >

RIVER WALK> >

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees> > another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How> > can I get to the other side?" The> > second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts> > back, "You ARE on the other side."> >

KNITTING> >

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.> > Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind> > the wheel was knitting!> > Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren,> > the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and> > yelled ,"PULL OVER!" "NO!" the> > blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"> >

BLONDE ON THE SUN> >

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The> > Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We> > were the first on the moon!"> > The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"> > The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their> > heads. "You can't land on the> > sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the> > Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"> >

IN A VACUUM> >

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.> > She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question> > was, "If you are in a vacuum> > and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a> > time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"> >

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!> >

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new> > dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by> > saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend> > said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs> > like that?" "HELLOOOOOO," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"> >